Let's try this again, shall we?

Well, here I am back after forever away.  Can't say I'll post daily or even weekly but I think I need to get back to it. 

Let's see, what I have been doing?  Losing weight - yes!  And no.  And yes again!  And then no again. Can you feel the wind on that roller coaster?!  

Going to school - may be going to school the rest of my natural life if I don't buckle down again.  I can only manage about 12 units per term on top of working full time, church, volunteer work and of course my boys. They do take a lot of time - but we have fun!  Bug is 13 and my Sweet Potato is 5 now.  It is an adventure.

Frustrating and infuriating.  I'm mad at myself because if I just stuck with anything I would be more where I want to be and not even further from it than I was when I first started this blog. But no.  BUT, I'm not here to beat myself up.  I'm here to start again. Current weight?  Not a clue.  Haven't stepped on a scale in months. So what am I doing this time?  No set diet - just a series of life changes that NEED to become permanent. And I mean NEED.  My health has taken a bit of a dive.  Blood pressure is up; I get winded doing simple things; my back, hip and knees ache terribly; I don't sleep well.  It's pretty awful.  I'm only 47 and if I plan on being an active and interesting 100-year-old I better turn this crap around.  Right now I've cut the carbs drastically.  No, I'm not doing Atkins but I need to get my carb craving under control because it leads to massive over-eating, a ton of excess calories, etc.  It's hard because I love bread. And pasta. And pasta with bread. So I'm cutting it out for a little while and then will add it back in slowly later.  Except for game nights.  I have given myself permission to eat & drink anything on game nights!

So yup, I'm back.  We'll see how well I stick with it this time! 

I guess I'll see how it went!

I was really proud of myself for how well I did at the Pike Place Market on Saturday.  I stayed away from most of the junk.  I did share a very hearty grilled cheese sandwich, but I only had 1/3 of it and the rest of what I had were fruit & veggie samples and a handful of nuts.  I admit I had half of one small personal cheesecake (about the size of a tangelo) from The Confectional but still I stayed within my points for the day.   My boys and I did a LOT of walking around and we were all bushed by the time we got home at the end of the day.

SUNDAY, however, was a different story.  I started off well enough but by the end of the day had not just gone off track, but had crashed and burned at the bottom of a ravine.   Ugh – and the day before weigh in too!  WHY the heck do I sabatoge myself like that?  What reason could I possibly have for wanting to stay fat?  I weigh in tonight and can only hope that even though I wasn’t as good as I should be, I was better than I have been so maybe I’ll see a loss.